Filed under: Gray
A bus turned the corner, hope fluttered like a butterfly within my heart. Could it be? Was it true?
A collective groan went up from the crowd of students around me. It was just another city bus. Coach Canada was over half an hour late… yet again.
When the buses finally arrived, I gathered my things and bustled over to the emptiest one. Shut down. The bus driver wouldnt let me board until the other 2 buses were filled first. I grabbed my stuff, moved to the next bus. It was full. I grabbed my stuff, moved to the final bus, and there was one spot left, right in the very front beside a nice lady who had conveniently piled her life onto the ‘vacant’ seat beside her – the seat that i was now expected to squish my hind-parts into.
People often say that i get this look on my face when i am highly irritated or fuming mad. You know, the if-anything-else-goes-wrong-i’m-going-to-break-something look. Yea.
So i’m sitting there, fueling my anger by hating on the buses for being late, the bus driver for making my life so difficult, the cheap eddie bauer duffle bag strap that brokeded and the STUPID pebble in my shoe, man.. that stupid pebble, that probably angered me the most, dont you HATE that? yea. i hate it so much.
2 hours later, the bus rolled past the City of Kingston sign and all hatred and malice in my heart disappeared. Seeing that sign had triggered a feeling of nostalgia and longing within me, in the midst of all my whining and complaining, it had finally hit me. That was the last time i was ever going to pass that sign as a student at Queen’s. This is it, the last 2 months of my undergraduate career, the last 2 months of what some say are the best years of one’s life.
and then my eyes flickered to life as a new realization hit me. I had spent the past 2 hours snarling about how i had been served a dish of injustice by the world, big deal right? but how many times over the past 3.75 had i chosen to meddle in frustration and self-pity, while blinding myself to the blessings that surrounded me?
How many minutes and hours had i wasted away being all whineyMcWhine-sauce when i could have spent those times enjoying the many blessings that this place had been to me?
I had entered university with very few expectations and even fewer resolutions. One however was to live life to its fullest, leaving no room for regret. After passing that sign, the past 3 years flew through my head. Had i really left no room for regret?
i couldnt in complete honesty say that i did.
I have 2 months left here and though i have failed multiple times in the past, I choose to live these months to the absolute fullest. To live a life of joy, of hope, of praise to Him who has given me so much. Quite simply, I choose to live instead of letting life fly by as i sit, stagnant and still.
there will be no more “what if’s” or “what could have been’s”. There will be no more regret.
I blinked and 3 years passed by. If I blink again and my time here is done. So I choose not to blink.. i suppose that explains why my eyes are all watery and crap these days.
i knew kingston was small, but dang.
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