Filed under: jubilee
so because i am a stickler for consistency, the realization that my intro post sounded impulsive and immature prompts me to change it. so here it is
jubilee: introduce yourself [edit].
um… just read what i have to say. =) — that is, if you want. thanks.
now to get rid of the incriminating evidence of my impulsive introduction, i’ll.. cross it out or better yet, i’ll white it out.. no cross it out is probably better.. or both… hrmm….
Filed under: ace
and so i’m officially t-minus 9 hours away from my anatomy midterm and instead of studying, i’m definitely trying out this new site.
today is valentine’s day; the season of love, if you will. and on this day i was called into work. at first i was rather reluctant… seeing as how i had a hot date with 9 other guys to gorge ourselves with meatfat and then go and watch braveheart… probably the manliest movie… ever. but instead. i was stuck behind the counter serving singles, would be singles, and guys that are too cheap to pay for a half decent dinner where the definition of luxury is not… extra cheese.
out of everyone that i served today, there was this one customer that stood out. she ordered a combo 3, paid, and sat down in the corner of the store. i continued serving, oblivious to my surroundings. after the dinner rush i went over to the counter door and leaned out, sighed and was about to go back when out of the corner of my eye i saw her. that same woman. sitting facing the wall. her features void of emotion. and thats when it hit me. she was empty…
and thats my story. no happy ending. no miraculous saving of her day. she just, finished her meal, sat for a little while longer, and walked out of my life forever, not knowing that she had permanently left her mark on me, while i failed to do anything for her. and upon her leaving, the second revelation of the day came to me. why didn’t i reach out? why didn’t i try to be her hero today? that i should try to rescue her from her sadness… how dare i want to do such a thing!
but why not?
i realized today, that i am too afraid to be a hero. afraid to shine because i fear that my light might not be as bright as i hope it to be… afraid that my heroism would be taken the wrong way.
but looking back on what happened. who cares? if it means that they might, if but for a second, experience joy. why am i so selfish, that my comfort supercedes another’s rescue?
The Core 