Filed under: ace
everyone has that one thing that they’re always unwilling to do… but the only reason why its their ‘thing’ is b/c they’ve yet to bargain it away for something that they deem ‘worth it’. and when you figure out what that person’s thing is… it becomes the ultimate test of bargaining on your side… and resolve on the other. what usually happens is… you put your thing on the line for something glorious… something that will net you not only instant joy and satisfaction, but full out acknowledgment of defeat from the other person… this wonderful prelude leads us perfectly into the other day when…
roll up the rim season has begun. new hopes are raised as old defeats are put aside… my friend won a donut and dared me to to shove a blueberry fritter into my mouth. me, being the fun loving chap that i am, graciously agreed to her little game… but i, also being the master of the bargain, asked her to wager something… her ‘thing’… which is… apparently, singing in front of an audience. she viewed this as a price that was way too steep and was about to back out of it when i stupidly offered to wager something as well. she, being the hateful person that she is, wanted me to put give up… my thing, which is… my weight.
now i think i have to interlude with an explanation before i keep going, or else you’re gonna think i’m either a little panzy girl, or a narcissisitc guy…
i’m definiitely the latter.
moving on… to summarize. if i was able to shove an entire blueberry fritter into my mouth, and eat it, she would have to sing in front of an audience. and if i failed… i would have to eat 12 donuts of her choice… in one sitting. in otherwords… 12 more blueberry fritters. for those of you that have never frequented a timmy’s… thats 17 grams of fat x 12 donuts. to put that into perspective… thats 3 days worth of fat… and then some. the lard that you would take out of that you could probably put together and make a statue of… ok thats irrelevant. and so if i lost i’d basically be this giant ball of skin and lard… which isn’t too far off from my present state… but thats another story for another day.
anyhow. i agreed. and i won. i’m awesome.
the moral of the story… never use your ‘thing’ as a bargaining chip… you’ll always lose. unless you’re awesome, or you rig it in your favour.
sorry friend =)
Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment
The Core 