an offer you shouldn’t refuse

March 11, 2007, 1:29 pm
Filed under: ace

i am a self proclaimed ‘bad-breath-a-phobe.’ there was a point and time during my younger days where i would go through a pack of gum in 2-3 days. it got to the point where my addiction to breath mints rivaled my friend’s addiction to weed…

but i think after 2 years of mints, gum, unceasing brushing of the teeth and recently.. the use of mouthwash, i think i’m finally comfortable and confident that my words won’t be followed by a wall of odour that screams… ‘i just downed a block of goat cheese.’

but just a couple of days ago i saw this guy sitting by himself and i was like, why not introduce myself? why not do a good deed and reach out? and so i approached him, introduced myself and he turned, smiled and said

“_________”

see… i actually have no recollection of what he said b/c all i heard was the narst stench coming from his mouth. being my usual clever self, i took out my gum, popped one, and casually offered him a piece as well. he politely REFUSED my offer, and instead started talking again. at this point and time i almost freaked out at him… but instead i just pretended to need something from my bag and walked away.

and so, the moral of the story… brush your teeth after every meal. and if you’re offered gum… most of the time, its not a polite gesture on their part, but a last ditch attempt to save the conversatoin from your breath.